Online dating is big business, but is it honest business? I believe the answer is not always. We see the commercials, beautiful attractive singles for the most part, in cute poses, spouting their signature line. We also see the couples who have made that long sought after life connection, but exactly what is the percentage of those who have truly found happy endings?
Each one of the major online dating services has its own method of doing business. They all offer “free trial memberships” however there are as one would expect with free offers, certain limitations. Some may allow love seekers to peruse pictures; others may only allow matching via profile and prohibit any real contact such as e-mail between parties until after that first monthly payment. Some services offer deep psychological in depth profiles which take the better part of the day to fill out, others simply use more general matching methods focusing on cant stands and must haves. Who knows which of these methods are more effective; after all how honest are we with ourselves? Certainly no one wants to admit to anger issues, or control issues or anything negative for that matter. We fill out these forms not as the person we are but as the person we wish we could be. This is not exactly the best way to find the right person if the entire profile is based on a lie.
We promote ourselves hoping to find a buyer and it is the promise of finding one’s soul mate that is so hard to resist. That is the key to the success of these services. The reality is that these services continue to exist as virtual meat markets where only prime makes the cut. Prime by my definition would include 20 to early thirties, svelte fertile females. Those who fall outside of this category are simply seen as leftovers, that are picked over by those vultures who can smell their desperation. You’ve read about the scams, “major online dating service sending fake e-mails of interest to lure unsuspecting newcomers into joining”, yet despite our reservations many of us take a chance and convince ourselves it will be different for us.
There is a profound sadness in knowing that so many are drawn into this vacuum of hope that seems to reduce intelligent women to dreamy schoolgirls. Certainly men are participants on both sides, in dealing with rejection, however as a woman I can’t speak on the male perspective. Love as a business is doomed to fail. Love I believe should come about naturally and almost take you by surprise. It is a process that has its own momentum and should not be confined within a 3 or 30 day membership plan.
Consider the television show “The Bachelor” for instance, where a group of good looking women are brought together to vie for a mate. The mere idea that anyone can fall in love and decide to marry someone after a few days together is absorb, yet we watch as these women and men proclaim to have feelings of love after an insanely short period of time. The strangest part of all is that they really believe it despite all of the evidence proving that these unions made in prime time seldom last. Is it simply the promise of love that clouds our judgment or is it our desperation to be desired? The business of love will continue to grow and many will be victims of its deception, after all what’s love got to do with it?
My name is Susan Green and I am writer and motivator in the field of self help and self enlightenment. My background is in sociology and the study of human behavior. My work experience in the healthcare field, as well as my own personal life experiences has provided me a window into the struggles that we face and the ways that we can overcome the obstacles in our lives. My articles are often based on personal experiences and my message to my readers is that we all fall down, but we all have the ability to get back up again.
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